awful first dates hysterical true and heartbreakingly bad

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Awful First Dates

Author : Sarah Wexler
ISBN : 9781402259241
File Size : 42. 97 MB
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"He spills out a pile of pennies all over the table, telling me he fished through the couch for change to pay for his big night out." From the guy who chews on rocks to the one who has his mom tag along, Awful First Dates is filled with hilarious, cringe-worthy, holy-crap-did-that-really-happen?! stories from celebrities like Lauren Conrad and Michael Kors, you'll laugh, you'll cringe-and most importantly-you'll feel better about some of the date's you've been on! •He ate an entire bowl of dip with his fingers. •He said, "I think we should hang out in the woods and just groove on each other." •About thirty minutes in, he paused, took a sip of win, and then said, "So, can we go have sex now?" Sarah Z. Wexler, a freelance writer, lives and goes on first dates in New York City.

Crap Dates

Author : Rhodri Marsden
ISBN : 9781452132051
Genre : Humor
File Size : 83. 44 MB
Format : PDF
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A good date can be exhilarating: a shared joke, an improbable spark, long moments of gazing fondly into each other's eyes. Not so for the dating disasters featured in this collection of laugh-out-loud actual tweets about the most terrible evenings imaginable. From seriously unwelcome confessions, to dousing dates in wine, to bringing them back to creepy apartments to meet favorite stuffed animals, here are the funniest and most alarming reports from dating's front lines. Along the way, author Rhodri Marsden offers tips on how to identify and avoid the worst of the bad daters, including married men, blatant liars, deluded optimists, and more. This harrowing collection of real nightmare dates will amuse anyone who's suffered through one of cupid's off nights.

44 Horrible Dates

Author : Eddie Campbell
ISBN : 1402267479
Genre : Humor
File Size : 35. 57 MB
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The author recounts several horrible dates from his past including one man who expected space aliens to pick him up and another with a man who spent the night lecturing about veganism.

Furiously Happy

Author : Jenny Lawson
ISBN : 9781250077011
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 76. 25 MB
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In Furiously Happy, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. But terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos. "Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'" Furiously Happy is about "taking those moments when things are fine and making them amazing, because those moments are what make us who we are, and they're the same moments we take into battle with us when our brains declare war on our very existence. It's the difference between "surviving life" and "living life". It's the difference between "taking a shower" and "teaching your monkey butler how to shampoo your hair." It's the difference between being "sane" and being "furiously happy." Lawson is beloved around the world for her inimitable humor and honesty, and in Furiously Happy, she is at her snort-inducing funniest. This is a book about embracing everything that makes us who we are - the beautiful and the flawed - and then using it to find joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. Because as Jenny's mom says, "Maybe 'crazy' isn't so bad after all." Sometimes crazy is just right.

The First Bad Man

Author : Miranda July
ISBN : 9781782115052
Genre : Fiction
File Size : 90. 14 MB
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The Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller A Guardian literary highlight for 2015 A Huffington Post 'One to Watch' in 2015 'Astounding' LENA DUNHAM, creator of Girls and author of Not That Kind of Girl 'The First Bad Man brings together all of July's talents - it's a book that must be read, a book that must be purchased - in duplicate - one for you, one for a friend. Don't think you can loan this book - you'll never get it back' A. M. HOMES, author of This Book Will Save Your Life and May We Be Forgiven The first novel by the filmmaker, artist and bestselling author Miranda July confirms her as a spectacularly original, iconic, and important voice today, and a writer for all time. The First Bad Man is dazzling and unforgettable.

A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius

Author : Dave Eggers
ISBN : 9781447294429
Genre : Biography & Autobiography
File Size : 44. 60 MB
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‘Heartbreaking? Certainly. Staggering? Yes, I’d say so. And if genius is capturing the universal in a fresh and memorable way, call it that too’ Anthony Quinn, Sunday Times ‘Is this how all orphans would speak – “I am at once pitiful and monstrous, I know” – if they had Dave Eggers’s prodigious linguistic gifts? For he does write wonderfully, and this is an extremely impressive debut’ John Banville, Irish Times ‘A virtuosic piece of writing, a big, daring, manic-depressive stew of a book that noisily announces the debut of a talented – yes, staggeringly talented – new writer’ – Michiko Kakutani, New York Times ‘Exhilarating . . . Profoundly moving, occasionally angry and often hilarious . . . A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is, finally, a finite book of jest, which is why it succeeds so brilliantly’ – New York Times Book Review ‘What is really shocking and exciting is the book’s sheer rage. AHWOSG is truly ferocious, like any work of genius. Eggers – self-reliant, transcendent, expansive – is Emerson’s ideal Young American. [The book] does itself justice: it is a settling of accounts. And it is almost too good to be believed’ – London Review of Books ‘A hilarious book . . . In it, literary gamesmanship and self-consciousness are trained on life’s most unendurable experience, used to examine a memory too scorching to stare at, as one views an eclipse by projecting sunlight onto paper through a pinhole’ – Time ‘Eggers evokes the terrible beauty of youth like a young Bob Dylan, frothing with furious anger . . . He takes us close, shows us as much as he can bear . . . His book is a comic and moving witness that transcends and transgresses formal boundaries’ – Washington Post

Look Evelyn Duck Dynasty Wiper Blades We Should Get Them

Author : David R. Thorne
ISBN : 0988689529
Genre : Australian wit and humor
File Size : 28. 78 MB
Format : PDF, Kindle
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A hilarious collection of new essays by the the New York Times bestselling author of, The Internet is a Playground, and I'll Go Home Then; It's Warm and Has Chairs.

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